|Me: "I want to do a blog post, but I don't have a picture"|
Fiancé: "Use a picture of me!"
Things were good and steady, so that was when my insurance decided it was time for a change.
Without consulting my doctor, the insurance company decided that all birth control pills were created equal and therefore I should be switched to the cheapest one.
The problem here is that the cheapest one was completely different. It cycles through three levels of hormones instead of keeping me on one steady level. During the first pack, I had my period for 2.5 weeks after it was supposed to end. I also turned very mentally unstable.
I was constantly frustrated and depressed through mid-December. There was a lot of anger and crying. I cried in the grocery store aisle when a box of Frosted Flakes reminded me of my dad (a man who is still alive and well.) I cried once again at the end of Titanic (a movie I have seen 5,000 times. It really is a beautiful film though.) The depression and anxiety was overwhelming.
I called the doctor, but the doctor's office didn't pick up the phone and there was nowhere to leave a message. Mom said I was being too impatient and hanging up too early, so I called back, put the phone on speaker, and let her listen to it ring from the dining room table until she acquiesced that they were indeed not answering.
It took a few more weeks before I tried back. Why? Because even picking up the phone seemed overwhelming. Every little task felt frustrating at the time.
The good news is, they did pick up. My doctor called me back and I told her I wanted off of these things for good. I was right at the end of a monthly pack, and she said I could just stop.
I had read that the side effects of going off the pill could be interesting and somewhat negative. I've been lucky so far: I have been BC pill free for about two weeks now, and I feel great!
Ultimately, the side effects were not worth it for me. I'm excited to fully return to my natural hormonal balance. There are other ways, and BC is a personal decision for everyone. I've talked to other female friends who decided to get off the pill, or change which pill they take, for the same reason. I have other friends who are fine on the pill.
Going through this process made me realize that freedom from the pill is the best decision for my mental health. Stepping into 2018, this is a triumph for me, and I encourage other women to consider all of their options. Rather than just sticking with what your friends do, or what you feel you can "deal with", make the best choice for your own wellbeing. You're worth it girl. Let's make this our best year yet!