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| A beautiful day to ignore OCD |
Well my friends, last Saturday I had the opportunity to live that fantasy and I knew that I had to seize the day. Only one problem: I'm OCD with money.
For those of you who are not OCD with money, or are OCD with money in their own way, let me explain what I mean. I am terrified of stealing. Petrified. I tend to count and recount. I doubt my numbers and even my honesty. I worry that I took tips that I wasn't supposed to take or somehow cheated the employer or the customer. I never feel safe around money, and my anxiety around cash is extremely high. This fear and anxiety actually gave me the compulsion to give back a ton of tips at my old bartending job. I would sneak them back into the cash register. I eventually quit because it was so overwhelming.
Knowing that I was going to deal with money at this event made me very nervous. But I wasn't going to let OCD get in the way of my little golf cart girl dreams. So I went anyway.
Did I worry about counting? Yes. Did I worry about stealing? Yes. It was especially bad at one point when I pulled out my wallet to make change for a $20. I handed the change over and took the $20 and put it in my wallet.
Sounds simple, right? But my OCD was only focused on the act of putting that $20 in the wallet.
OCD doesn't care about context or reality. OCD was just saying "Did you steal that $20? I can remember you taking a $20 from a customer and putting it in your wallet."
But I wouldn't let myself get caught up in an argument with my OCD. I said NO. Not today, buddy. I moved on.
I had a fantastic day and even made a little money. I kept my tips and didn't return them. I'm glad that I didn't let my OCD fears prevent me from taking the gig, because I would have missed out on a wonderful time.
Sometimes you just have to put through. Don't let OCD take your dreams away. You are capable of triumph.
