8 Reasons I Cried During Disney's Aladdin

Cue the water works.

I have been transitioning off of my OCD/anxiety medication, and to say it has been an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement.  

I experience waves of feelings with such intensity that it overwhelms me.  Unfortunately, a lot of these feelings are also negative - from anger to profound sadness.

Well, I saw the live action remake of Disney's Aladdin while in the middle of this transition period.  The original Disney classic came out in 1992 when I was three and was very important to me as a little girl.  With all the nostalgia about to ensue, the situation was ripe for a breakdown.

And the breakdown was real.  So much crying.  Overt sobs at one point.  Don't get me wrong, the movie was beautiful, but I was also in a state.  Nostalgia is hard, but it's even harder without medicine.  

Please note the SPOILER ALERT here if somehow you are not familiar with the Aladdin story.  (Also, please go and watch the classic cartoon immediately and then go see the remake!)  Here, for your viewing pleasure, I've compiled a list of reasons that an emotionally unstable, anxious, unmedicated 29-year-old woman cried during a Disney movie remake.

Pre-Film 

1.  The Music in the Lion King Trailer  (Hans Zimmer got me.  Also just the idea of Mufasa.)

2.  The Walt Disney World Commercial (Being at Disney was so wonderful.  My family is the best family.  What if I don't get to go again?  When did I get so old?  I don't want to get old.  I don't want my parents to get old.)

The Film Begins

3.  The start of "Friend Like Me" (Will Smith is trying his best but Robin Williams will never be matched.  And now he's gone and that light in the world won't be repeated.)

4.  Jasmine is perfect looking.  (How can someone be that beautiful?  I'm getting old.  Why am I not that beautiful?  All I wanted when I was little was to be Jasmine.  Imagine what an honor to actually play that dream role.)

5.  Aladdin pretends to fall off the balcony on to the magic carpet.  ("A Whole New World" is about to be sung.  I'm not ready.)

6.  "A Whole New World"  (I am not ready. Overtly sobbing through the whole thing and barely seeing any of the actual footage.)

7.  Aladdin sets the genie free. (What a nice thing to do.  Imagine what it would it feel like to be free for the first time.)

8.  Aladdin and Jasmine get married. (They're in love and it's a wedding and it's beautiful.)

I realized stepping away from it that most of these are ridiculous tear triggers that my anxiety and emotions just took off with (Obviously not Mufasa.  Always cry for Mufasa).  I hope that this is a temporary issue and that things will balance out.  

For now, I am lucky that I have a family of saints who are able to find humor in the situation and take it in stride.  Sitting between my husband and my mom in that movie theatre, I had support on both sides and hands to hold - and they only laughed at me a little.  Sometimes, when the emotions get too intense, that's the triumph: we just have to laugh.

What Candy Crush Taught Me About Living With Anxiety

Mom indulging in a favorite pastime.

Candy Crush Saga.  Most of us have played it at least once.  For many, it has eaten up hours if not days of our lives.  (I'm currently on Level 375... For perspective, my mom is on or above Level 1752.)

It might seem like a frivolous time suck, but I've gained some real knowledge from my Candy Crush experience.  As a girl with OCD, I've discovered that Candy Crush offers more than just a distraction... It has actually taught me some key lessons on how to live with anxiety.  

Hear me out:

Lesson #1: Sometimes you need a little help.

There are levels that I've only gotten through because of a booster of some sort.  Such is life.  When you have anxiety and you feel overwhelmed or unable to move past the thoughts in your head, it's easy to feel like a failure.  At those times it's important to remember that it's okay to need a boost occasionally. A boost in life can be many things, from social support to therapy to prescribed medication. Whatever help you need, it is alright to seek it out.

Lesson #2:  Give it 5 tries, then take a break.

After you lose 5 Candy Crush lives, it takes time to recharge before they let you play again. Though many people find this annoying, it is actually a great strategy to take when something is bothering you and making you feel anxious. If you've given it multiple attempts and are still facing failure, take some time off. Rejuvenate.  It's perfectly acceptable.  Then, you can get back to it refreshed and ready to face the challenge.  (Don't just listen to me, check out this article I found on an OCD page from the Harvard Business Review, "Resilience is About How You Recharge, Not How You Endure".)

Lesson #3:  Sometimes things are hard that aren't supposed to be.

Candy Crush tells you when you are facing a "hard level."  But sometimes it's the so-called easy levels that wind up being the most challenging.  The truth is that we all have different journeys and sometimes we will find that something is difficult without warning.  You can't let it get you down, you have to keep fighting. 

Lesson #4:  Things don't always fall into place.

You have to learn to accept that sometimes it isn't your fault, the right combinations just didn't materialize.  That's something you have to live with in your daily life.  Don't allow yourself to get caught up in possible alternate scenarios and blame yourself for fate.

Lesson #5: I can do anything I set my mind to.

I've often been at Candy Crush levels that I have deemed impossible.  Multiple times, I have decided never to play EVER AGAIN because it would be pointless to try and continue.  But every single time, I have been drawn back in and eventually beat the so-called unbeatable level.  Candy Crush has shown me that as much as I worry, nothing is impossible.

Did King create Candy Crush, with an entire magical world that held parallels to our own, to help make me a better, stronger person who was more capable of handling the anxieties of life?  Probably not.  But sometimes you find life lessons in the strangest of places.  If it took a social media game to help me find some zen, I'll take it.  Candy Crush triumph.

Count me in!

Today's triumph?  I counted.

Yes, counted.  As in one, two, three, four... and so on.  I counted survey answers on sheets of paper and reported them to my coworker.

No, I'm not still in kindergarten, but yes, this was still a feat.  

See, you may have noticed that OCD makes me doubt almost everything: The correct amount of something is no exception.

There are times that I've had to recount and recount something, and then have someone else check my number just to be sure.  The act of counting can drive me mad.  Did I skip one?  Did I double count another?  Anything could happen!

But this morning I was pretty good about it and my coworker didn't have to suffer from a time-wasting amount of checks and recounts.  That's a win for me today.

In other news, while texting my boyfriend made a very astute observation.  He said "I can authoritatively say that you tend to hear one possibly bad thing and then assume the worst possible interpretation ever imagined by anyone ever in the history of the world." 

My therapist agreed that this was anxiety in a nutshell.  The boyfriend also gets a win today.

Gus - The Dog With Anxiety

A tortured little soul.

This is probably the cutest tragedy of all: my family dog was recently diagnosed with anxiety by a behavioral specialist.

My family did not understand why Gus would get so irritable.  He's the sweetest thing around his family and friends, but then the vicious switch gets turned on around anyone or anything he doesn't know.  He barks at every stranger. He hates bicycles. He hates children.  Deer? Horrible.  And don't even get me started on squirrels.

We had to do something about it, so my mother took him to see a behavioral specialist.  Apparently, the reason he gets so upset is because he has high anxiety! (Welcome to the family, bud.)  

She recommended anti-anxiety medication.  My dad was skeptical, not wanting to fundamentally change his personality.  Me on anti-anxiety medication?  Fine.  But don't mess with a man's dog.

What the behavioral specialist reminded him was that it is not pleasant for Gus to have all these negative feelings.  He isn't barking and snarling out of happiness, but out of fear.  It is upsetting to Gus just as his behavior is upsetting to us.  

Dad gave in, and Gus has been put on anti-anxiety meds and things do seem to be improving, but now he sleeps all the time!  Sometimes he goes upstairs to take a nap in bed in the middle of the day.

What's nice is that he and I can take anti-anxiety-medication-induced-fatigue naps together.  It's a bonding experience.  Together we will get through this.

-Laura