Monday, June 18, 2018

OCD Raccoon

Anxious Face
I tend to anthropomorphize, but it is well documented that animals exhibit OCD and anxiety similar to humans (To read more about this from professionals, you can see this described by National Geographic in 2013 and The New York Times in 2014).  

I have previously described how my own dog, Gus, battles anxiety. However, last week I actually witnessed an animal performing compulsions like someone in the throes of OCD.

My family and I were in Nassau at Blue Lagoon Island.  We crossed an item off of my bucket list and met a sea lion.  After our sea lion encounter was over, we walked around the island and that was when we saw a very special native: A Raccoon.

This Bahamian was in a cage.  We approached hoping not to scare him, and he started performing a very interesting behavior.   He was on a platform and was repeatedly walking from one end to the other.  When he got to the end, he would touch it with his hand and go back to the other side.  He would then touch that side and go back to the first.  He did this over and over and over again.

My heart broke for this little guy.  He was all alone and exhibiting this behavior that made no sense - something that I myself have done to cope with stress.  Even though I did not know what was going on in his mind, I knew that he was not at peace.

Animals are so like us: It is beautiful when we can connect with their joy and tragic when we can relate to their pain.  Our similarities can also help us help each other.  Tel Aviv University did research in 2009 on animal OCD behavior and captivity, and what they found revealed another way to approach OCD treatment for humans.  In a similar way, I'm sure Fluoxetine was originally created to help humans, but now it is the pill my dog is on for his anxiety (You can read more about fluoxetine - trademark name Prozac - in this article on the National Center for Biomedical Technology website).

I hope that the owners of this raccoon, whoever they are, ultimately speak with a behaviorist and try to investigate what is going on and how they can help him lead a better life.  Although animals do have similarities to us, they also have many different needs that should be respected.   

When you take on a role of animal owner, you also take on responsibility for that animal's health - both physical AND mental.  In addition to taking the time to thoroughly research the best way to care for the animals they own, owners also have to recognize when a problem is beyond their depth and they need to appeal to a professional with more education and experience.

Just like in the human world, we need to start taking mental health more seriously for animals as well.  They are more than just cute faces, they have full lives that we must respect and nurture.

Sunday, June 3, 2018

A Perfect Wedding Weekend




Guest's-Eye View.
May 19, 2018 was the day I had waited for my whole life: Wedding Day.

Naturally, as someone with anxiety and OCD, I spent a lot of time leading up to the wedding worried about all of the things that could go wrong.  

Well, the Saturday of the wedding a lot of those worries came true and then some.  For example, it POURED after I decided that we should get married outside (because surely the rain would hold out).  The chuppah and multiple floral arrangements were completely destroyed and my hair had significantly fallen by the time of the service from the humidity.  During the ceremony, the rabbi read the wrong traditional vows (not the ones we had chosen) and a baby babbled throughout, distracting me from our personalized vows.  The cake looked nothing like the picture, and the DJ started our choreographed dance before we were ready so we started off balance. 

But guess what?  Even though many of my fears were realized, it was still a perfect weekend.

I am not going to lie to you and say that I did not get upset when some of these things occurred.  I felt so many things that weekend...  Happiness.  Nostalgia.  Lucky. Angry.  Amused.  Sad.  Overwhelmed.  Excited. Grateful.  Anxious.  

But the overarching feeling was love: love for Nathan, love for family, and love for friends.  Even as the blunders piled up, nothing could ultimately overtake the overwhelming joy at the significance of the day.

My OCD and anxiety crept in of course, especially on Sunday.  My anxious brain was doing what it normally does and I found myself very focused on the negative.  I was frustrated and angry at myself for choices I had made that caused problems (like not calling for an indoor ceremony).  I was also feeling guilt and self-loathing at the anger and frustration I had experienced on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life.  

My sister Linda (the maid of honor) really helped calm me down.  With OCD, it is common to judge and doubt yourself for your thoughts and feelings.  She reminded me that my feelings were all very natural and that overall the day was wonderful.  She suggested that I make a list of all the fun, wonderful details from the day so that I would not forget them.  

Watching the Royal Wedding early in the morning with my Mom, sister, and bridesmaid Katie... Being surprised by morning chocolate strawberries Nathan sent to the suite... eating chicken nuggets with my bridesmaids while we were all in curlers getting ready at the hotel... entering the ceremony with my dad and seeing everyone I love watching me walk down the aisle... Nathan and I getting our footing back and nailing our tango... Dancing with my sorority sisters.... Eating cake back in the suite with Nathan after the party.  All of these moments are mine forever.  (I also got some fun details I had missed by asking friends and relatives to share their favorite moments with me.  I recommend all brides collect their own lists!)

Nathan with his new wife, bro-in-law, and sis-in-law.
I pulled myself together ultimately, and that Sunday afternoon was a continuation of a wonderful weekend.  My family, Nathan and I got dressed up again and my bridesmaid Megan took family pictures of us with our dog Gus.  Then, Megan continued to lead mom, Nathan and I on a photoshoot around Cleveland in the perfect Sunday weather.  We captured a lot of photos we never would have gotten otherwise, including shots on the rocks in Lake Erie (Now that the wedding was over, I did not have to worry about the dress getting wet!).

The spot we said our vows on Pearl Island.
In terms of the rabbi reading the wrong vows, Linda also came up with the great idea of privately reading our chosen traditional vows to each other while we were on our honeymoon in the Bahamas.  We made our intended promises on top of a lighthouse on Pearl Island in Nassau... a spot so perfect, another young man proposed to his girlfriend up there that same day. 




My advice to anxious brides is to remember that when the people you love are there, nothing can ruin your wedding.  Enjoy every second of your wedding weekend.  Love is the ultimate triumph.  When you are marrying the right person, you get your fairytale.  The logistics of the weekend will work out.  

Focus on the positive and remember that some of those "errors" can ultimately lead to more beautiful memories.  After all, if the rabbi had not read the wrong vows, we never would have had our moment on top of the lighthouse.