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| Puppy Photos & Waffle Magnets > To Do Lists |
As a married woman with a house and two puppies, it seems like as soon as I fix one problem another starts... that is if I can even fix the first problem at all.
Example: Today, I tried to submit a receipt to insurance, but I couldn't because I changed my last name when I got married and they have my old last name. When I asked the health insurance company originally about this, they said I had to go through my husband's employer to change it with them. Except I did weeks ago... My husband wrote to HR and received a response that it was handled. Regardless, nothing has changed and I can't turn in over $1,000 in receipts for therapy.
After another frustrating phone call on that topic, I discovered my oven was broken and that's the second major appliance in just as many weeks (we just got a new fridge installed Thursday).
Meanwhile, as I'm trying to juggle these things the dogs are fighting each other. They are almost nine months old and have reached a stage where they want to eat and destroy everything they love: their reign of terror knows no limits, and they fluctuate between snuggle buggle and demon sometimes minute to minute. I love them so much and I feel guilt and self-loathing every time I get angry and yell at them for misbehaving, but I also get frustrated as they continue not to listen and inevitably wind up yelling again, and so the cycle goes on and on until I can get a trainer's help.
The challenges feel constant and overwhelming, and with anxiety they can be especially hard to process. The way my mind is set up, I always want to have the tasks that are weighing on me checked off. I want what is worrying me to be accomplished and handled.
High school and college were in many ways set up beautifully for this mindset. Assignments were clearly defined and spelled out. A class had due dates and a set time period. When the class was over, it was over. I could work hard and succeed... and I was even given a letter grade at the end to clearly indicate that I had in fact succeeded! Even if a class had a lot of work to do, there was always a light at the end of the tunnel.
With adult professional work and house work, it is completely different. There is no end. At work, when one project is over... there is another one in the wings. Then another. There won't be a final anytime soon.
Sometimes the assignments don't even have clear instructions. And there are roadblocks at every turn... a contractor who won't return a call, unexpected electrical issues that stall a project, a company's buggy website.
The small tasks pile up and sometimes it seems like everything is designed to keep you from being efficient. Seriously, if I have to talk on the phone with one more customer service robot, I'm worried I'm going to snap.
I guess I'm still struggling to find balance. I used to relax when the work was done, but now I need to find a way to relax even when the work is still there.
I'm still learning and I know I need to stay hopeful. I have a lot of great support from the people that love me, and I know plenty of people successfully navigate adulthood every day and enjoy the ride. Still, if anyone has tips for balancing sanity with the never ending to do list, I'm very open to suggestions.
