Sayonara, Seratraline!

 

Well, here we are again...

Sayonara, Seratraline!

In August 2019, I wrote a post about the surprises in transitioning off of my OCD/anxiety medication.  Then, almost a year later in June 2020, as the Coronavirus pandemic made even the most mentally stable of us feel uneasy, I wrote a post about the lessons I learned from getting back on.

Now, it's April 2021 and as of Sunday, I am officially back off my meds.  My husband and I had planned to start a family last spring, and now we are hoping to try in the fall.  After speaking to my psychiatrist, we decided that I was doing well and it was worth a shot to try getting back off again.  

Ideal Scenario:  I continue to do well, see my therapist and keep my stress low so that I can stay off of the medication through pregnancy.  I get more into meditation and learn how to be zen while transforming into the physical embodiment of Gaya, mother goddess.  Then, as soon as I have the baby, I will go immediately back on a pill that has been studied as safe for lactating mothers.  Going on right away should help with any postpartum depression and anxiety, which I feel fortunate I already know to look out for.

Potential Plan B:  I realize within the next few months that this isn't feasible and my stress levels and anxiety will be more dangerous for pregnancy than getting back on medicine.  Because I got off now, I have time to figure this out and get back on and stable before we try in the fall. 

Potential Plan C:  I do fine before pregnancy but have to get back on something during pregnancy because the hormones take me to a dark place.  I'm already in contact and have a relationship with my psychiatrist, and she has helped a lot of mothers who have safely delivered babies while on medication, so she is prepared to help me tackle any blips along the way.

I am open to any of these possibilities - the important thing is to plan ahead.  There's a lot of stigma around mental health medication, especially for pregnant women, but for those of us who need it, we realize how important and life changing it can be.  Nobody knows your personal circumstances, and how you handle pregnancy and medication should be between you, your doctor and your support system.

Let me end with the same disclaimer as in my June 2020 post: Remember: I'm not a doctor, and I can only speak from my experience.  Since elementary school, I've tried a number of different OCD/Anxiety medications (from Zoloft to Luvox to Viibryd, just to name a few).  Some have worked better for me than others.  The best thing you can do is is to find a good psychiatrist, advocate for your needs and keep an open mind.  During these difficult times, don't forget to take care of yourself.